How can you discern which elder you should submit to?

The Bible says in Hebrews 13:17, "obey your leaders and submit to them." That's a command.

So, who are your leaders? I hope you have some leaders. Then, we must submit to them, but that is in church matters. You don't have to listen to them concerning whom you should marry or what house you should take for rent or buy. That's up to you, because that depends on the measure of confidence you have in him.

In church matters, elders are an authority. Just like out in the streets the traffic police have got authority, and in a country, the government has authority. You don't worry about whether they are spiritual or not. They are the authorities appointed by God. You listen to them. There are authorities appointed by elders in a church. You listen to them. If you don't have confidence in them, leave that church. Go and join some other church where you have confidence in the elders. If you have confidence in only one of the elders, you can go to him for advice. But, submission—you must submit to all the elders in a church. That is God's will (Hebrews 13:17). Submission is different from confidence. You don't have to submit in personal matters. It's only in church matters.